Gday, Im from the Australian Government Do you adore koalas? How charming are they? Nawww … look at this one! What about trees? Heres a koala IN a tree! You like that, eh? Well fuck you then coz Australiaskoala population is declining so rapidly your grand kids will simply ever visualize oneof these furry rogues in a showbag But loosen … its time a natural consequenceof the Regional Forest Agreements( RFAs) we pioneered back in the 90 s Exactly like your inability to afford your ownhome today is a natural repercussion of this bullshit from back then That, and those smashed avo brekkies you scoff all day Its all one of the purposes of our FKIT Policy: makingsure therell be less good shit left for our kids to enjoy We innovated FKIT soon after we invadedPandor I imply, Australia – by obliterating half ofour archaic native woodlands And now, thanks to those RFAs, and the highestrate of land clearing in the developed world, we’re doing our best to destroy whats left Which is why so many koalas have nowhere left to live( just like all you first-home buyers out there) Oh and if Barny does his practice, this littlefella will soon be homeless and bugger off very But look on the bright side: logging jobshave Actually…theyve too slumped … dueto mechanisation and, well … the facts of the case theres fewer native trees left to log So as you can see, its been a lose-lose strategy And thats why were planning to renewthose RFAs for another TWO DECADES So we can turn whats left of THIS into newspaper … coffee cups … and shit tickets Instead of using orchards … alternative fabrics … and protecting the remaining wilderness in proposed sanctuaries like the Great Koala National Park and the Great Forest National Park – which would: create stacks of ongoing tourism activities stunning recreational domains A self-assured home for furry buggers AND avoided by epic climate change fail since our eucalypt woodlands place more carbon than any other forest in the world Koalas in trees Cuuuuute but … FK’IT! Authorised by the Australian Department for Intergenerational theft.
